Sex Noises


Someone asked me to write about a time I had an embarrassing moment in the gym. I really thought about it, and there wasn’t one particular incident that stood out to me, because I embarrass myself every single time I go to the gym. I’m the girl who accidentally knocks her iPhone off the treadmill, which rips the headphones outta my ears and sends the whole kit and caboodle flying across the room. I’m the girl who can’t figure out how to use a machine I’ve used a million times before, so I just walk around it in circles, pulling and grabbing at random levers until someone takes pity on me. I’m the girl who goes over to the bench press and benches only the bar, but grunts and strains like I’m lifting half my weight. I think that might be the most embarrassing thing I do: grunt. Continue reading